Changing Friendships

In the last few years, since dealing with infertility and the loss of my sons, many friendships have evolved. Some are stilted, some are stronger, some have stayed relatively the same. Only recently have I come to realize that one friend has stepped away and possible out of my life. I might be able to cope with the drifting apart if I didn't have to hear about/see photos of this friend with another very close friend. The three of us used to be super tight...apparently they still are but I am the third wheel that has been cut loose. Messages unanswered, invitations not extended...I finally got the hint. Damn it sucks! More than I want it to...I am not sure I have the energy to mourn a friendship when I am still trying to figure out how to mourn my sons.

On a more positive note, I am super excited to meet virtual friends in real life. This group of women, some I know, some I don't...share the common bond of loss. We found each other online and have created a sort of virtual support group...and the chance to be together feels pretty monumental. I am giddy with the excitement and nervousness that comes with meeting new people...even if I kind of know them already.