Wednesday, August 7, 2013

And the Universe just laughs..,

"So you think you have a plan?" Said the universe. "You have an idea how this is going to play out?"

(Insert crazy laugh)

"Oh, we will see about that."

That pretty much sums up how things are going right now. Dealing with unexpected curve balls, rolling with the punches and trying to figure out why the universe likes to pick on me. 

School starts in a few weeks and I don't dare think about it too much. There is so much I would like to do before my summer ends and Maxwell starts day care. And considering the universe's sick sense of humor, I am just going to try to squeeze as much as I can in to my last few weeks. 

Friday, August 2, 2013

Reality Check

Earlier this week I bumped into a coworker and her daughters as I was walking Maxwell to the park in his new super trike (which he totally loves).

Cruising the living room.

It wasn't until I walked away that I realized how big her youngest was...she's going to be 3 this Fall. And that's when it all came together and I wanted to throw up. She was born about a month before my twins (4 months before my actual due date) and she is almost 3. I  saw her run, climb, go down a slide and call to Mom using complete sentences. Just like my boys should be. Should. Damn I hate that word now. F-ing should.

She's never been a grief trigger for me...she's a girl, a singleton, I hardly ever see it's never been a big deal. This time it was and it made my heart break all over again for my friends that are missing their baby girls. 

It was a reality check I really didn't need or want...and my heart just aches. 

F-ing should...yes they F-ing should be here. If only love was enough to make it so.