For those of you who don't follow my blog about my current pregnancy, this past Tuesday my water broke at 31wks 3 days. While this was the beginning of the end for William and Ethan, this is a currently a hurdle in getting this baby in our arms, but by no means the end.
Basically my water broke and I have not gone into labor (no contractions, cervix closed) and that key point has given me a huge peace of mind. Our little guy continues to do well on our 3 non-stress tests per day, moves a lot despite loosing almost all of his "cushion."
Am I still terrified...yes, do I worry...absolutely! For some reason I am not over whelmed by those dark thoughts and feelings. I think the key has to be that I was not immediately feeling contractions and that was the solid proof this time is different.
It doesn't hurt that my nephew was born at 32wks, was much smaller than my lil' guy and is now a smart, funny, rough and tumble 8 year old! The odds are so much better this time...and I know that is not a guarantee and there are still so many things that could go wrong.
There have been a few flash back moments to the scary moments of my water breaking with William & Ethan. I also have a bit of anxiety about an hour before the next NST, particularly if the baby has not been moving as much those are the hardest...but once that has passed (and I've gotten the reassurance i need) I truly believe this time will be different.
Knowing the path is already so different makes me miss my twin boys all the more. They should have gotten their chance. I hope they are looking out for their younger brother and will help make sure he arrives safely into our arms!