Saturday, October 8, 2011
Got the call...bloodwork was negative. This cycle has ended with nothing to show for it except a weight gain and another feeling of failure. I am going to indulge in sorrow for the loss of another chance and a few items I have avoided while cycling... - fully caffinated pumpkin spice latte (check) - chocolate brownies (check) - great bottle of wine (saving for later, but check) - sushi dinner tonight (also for later, but check) I think I was expecting a negative so I don't feel as upset as I expected, but it still sucks. I think it bothered me just a little more because during my post-bloodwork nap I had a dream about a baby girl. In the dream I was laying on the floor breast feeding her and it felt amazing...of course it was a funny dream and she puked on my face but the over all feeling was one of contentment. I want that...I guess it is just going to take a lot longer than planned, if at all. Game over...let the pity party begin.