All is well...

Maxwell's surgery went well. So very glad to have him come through it ok and be able let that worry go. There are other worries (is he healing ok, is he in too much pain/discomfort, are the meds making him hyper) but really, the worries never stop even if you are a mother not familiar with the loss of a child. Bottom line is he is alive, well, and home.

Being the charmer he is, M had the nurses fawning over him. He was in pretty decent spirits prior to surgery considering he hadn't nursed since 3am and by surgery time he hadn't taken a nap so he had been awake for just over 4 hours. That turned into the theme of the day...not much sleep. You would think that the surgery would have been taxing enough to bring on lots of sleep especially paired with Tylenol with codeine. Unfortunately...no...the poor babe was wound up, hyper even, and not able to sleep much. Holding him and nursing him was a challenge because our usual comfy snuggle put pressure on his nether region making it uncomfortable or down right scream-inducing painful. And then there was the hyper-activity that drove M to distraction and latching on for more than 2 seconds impossible. We were both exhausted!

Thankfully today the meds don't seem to have the same effects as yesterday and he is resting well. M almost slept through the night and had his meds not worn off I bet he would have slept longer! He didn't even seem to notice his catheter slipped out of his diaper drenching his sleep sack that is how well he slept. This is the most sleep I've had in ages since M always wakes up at least once or twice a night (or every hour on bad nights).

The most helpless feeling in the world is seeing your child in pain and not being able to make it stop. His cries are always hard to hear, but M's crying out in pain is beyond heartbreaking. When it goes on for more than a few minutes everyone in the house becomes a hot mess. The cat (always concerned over Maxwell's noises including laughing) is trying to get close to see what is wrong, Dad is pacing and on edge and Mom is crying almost as much as the baby! Not pretty. I realized I need to be the calming influence since I can't actually take the pain away...a few deep breaths to lower my blood pressure, a quiet soothing voice and a gentle touch is the only tools I have. Hopefully this will pass quickly and the healing will be quick!

The bandages come off tomorrow, the catheter comes out at his follow up appointment in two weeks and hopefully all goes well in the mean time.