Saturday, October 5, 2013

Shooting Star

A shooting star is a fleeting glimpse of something that once was, or maybe what could have been. Sometimes you see one and it takes a moment to realize what you just saw...and for a split second you capture that moment in your memory. You try to cherish what an amazing thing just happened, but it was so fast...so precious...that you think perhaps it might not have been real. 

That is how I am starting to think if my fourth son...my little shooting star. He is gone now. Such a short time with me, a flash across my heart that is now just a memory. There is nothing to hold on to, no earthly reminders. If it weren't for any empty ache I would swear it was my imagination.

My shooting star is free from any burden that may have been his. Untethered from us all, but free. It just wasn't meant to be.  
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10 comments:

  1. My New NormalOctober 5, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    I'm so sorry.

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  2. Amy L.October 5, 2013 at 11:51 AM

    Jessica, I'm in tears for you. I am so sorry . :*(

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  3. MelissaOctober 5, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    A bright, beautiful and all too momentary streak through the sky. Sad and missing with you.

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  4. AnonymousOctober 5, 2013 at 2:36 PM

    I don't at all want to compare my experience to yours as you went through something so very different - from not only the diagnosis, to learning the gender, to losing the baby later than I did, but I feel I can relate in many ways. This loss, while so sad and so hard, can be accepted quicker and healed from quicker (though it may not feel like it now). Our miscarried baby died at 10 weeks. I always felt like that was a baby that could have been, not a baby that should have been. Just so, so many things needed to be different - and like you said, it just wasn't meant to be. I don't know the reasons - but I can make peace with it so much easier than I ever will be able to do with Cale. I hope that in time you feel more and more peace - knowing that baby boy #4 was loved from the very beginning by so many. Lots of love to you Jess and your entire family.

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  5. B. Wilson @ Windy {City} WilsonsOctober 5, 2013 at 3:18 PM

    So much love to you. I love that he is your shooting star. What a lovely way to be reminded of your fourth son.

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  6. BrookeOctober 5, 2013 at 8:51 PM

    Thinking of your fourth boy and shooting star tonight. xo

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  7. ADSchillOctober 6, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    I am so so sorry. I'm thinking of you and you little star.

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  8. DarceyOctober 6, 2013 at 8:44 PM

    Thinking of you and your shooting star tonight

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  9. Mama BearOctober 12, 2013 at 1:52 AM

    Love to you and all of your babies. xoxo

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  10. AnonymousNovember 14, 2013 at 7:25 PM

    I'm so sorry to read this tonight. Sending much love your way!

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