Yesterday I reached a point where I could not take a single more day in my ill fitting bras...so off to the mall I went. I was by myself and just took my time trying things on and making a good attempt at shopping, something I normally hate. I went to several stores, got the bras I desperately needed and decided to pick up another pair of jeans at Old Navy since a pair I bought seemed to fit well. I hate that they are a size or two larger than what I used to wear, but oh well. I can't stand wearing my maternity jeans anymore either.
I was perusing the clearance section when a woman pushing a double stroller joined me in the back of the store with the most adorable twin boys they were around a year old and saying "Hi" enthusiastically to everyone that glanced their way. I would have thought that just seeing them would be a trigger moment, but they were so cute and funny that it wasn't what got to me.
After a few minutes of "hi" one of the boys pointed his chubby little finger at me and said, "Mama." I look nothing like his mother so it was clear he was in the developmental stage of symbol words and all women are mama. It is what his mom said next that was my nearly undoing. She responded to her own sweet son, "yes, she is a mama" and he replied "you mama." She lovingly replied, "yes, I am your mama."
I stood frozen to the spot I was standing until the turned away and the tears welled in my eyes. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and called my sister to have her distract me enough so I wouldn't end up in a heap under a clothing rack. While my sister wasn't home, leaving a message on her answering machine was enough to distract me long enough to get through checkout so I could run to my car and let go.
The conversation between that woman and her little boy is playing out over and over in my head. I know I am putting too much of my personal story in to what it means, but I can't help that it was a little bit of validation that I have wanted/needed. If it had been a singleton boy or girl it might not have carried the same potency (it still would have rocked me pretty hard) but the fact that it came from a twin boy and the mother of twins boys feels like a sign from the universe.
I am somebody's mama.