Symbols...

This week my kinders have been working on a Jim Dine inspired Valentine's Day project...we talk about symbols (hearts=love) and they made amazing small drawings on pre-painted paper using shimmery oil pastels. I created my teaching sample while William and Ethan were heavy on my mind (honestly they always are so this is no big shocker). My sample was a heart with two smaller ones inside. This has been my symbol for them since shortly after they were born/died. I draw it frequently in a variety of mediums. I have not yet brought home my sample from school but here are others I have created...one in the snow while I was out shoveling on a snow day a few weeks ago, one of my zen.tangles and one from my art journal.

There is another I posted as my profile picture on Face.book that was a pink heart with two sets of foot prints inside tiny hearts. I do not remember where I found it so I won't repost with out due credit but that was the inspiration for my symbol. I plan on drawing it in the sand whenever I go to a beach, creating it in pebbles plus any other times the opportunity presents itself.

My amazing sister sent me a Valentine's Day present that took my breath away. It was small, simple and perfect. She told me she wanted this "to be made permanent." She took my symbol and had it made for me...

Such a simple charm, but it means everything to me. It is a little large for my necklace with the boys' initials and birthstones. I am not sure what I will do with it yet. I would like to put it on my keychain but know that it will get beat up.

I don't think I have ever shared my necklace I assembled in memory of William and Ethan here on my blog. I obsessed over finding just the right necklace the week after we buried them. I scoured Etsy and the internet to find what I was looking for. I knew I wanted stamped letter charms (they are very popular here, a local artist makes them but I could not think of where to buy them) and thought about some sort of birthstone charm to go with it. I found one Etsy seller that would make custom initial charms and get them too me quickly. This was the week before Christmas and few sellers would be able to get anything to me before New Years or later...I needed it asap to put my mind at ease. If I couldn't hold my sons I wanted a necklace I could finger. I stumbled across another necklace on Etsy when I was looking for birthstones and it had a pearl as well as the stones used for March and December birthstones. I had to have it. William and Ethan were born in December, but were due in March. Here is a close up of me necklace and a picture I took of it with my Willow Tree twins figurine me sister gave me (she is so thoughtful!!!)...

I have so many little symbols of my sweet little ones, but not a single one is an adequate substitute for what I truly want...them with me, alive.