I should be frantically planning a first birthday party that will take place one month from now.
Instead I approved the design for my sons' grave marker.
I should be chasing around two 11 month old boys baffled that the time has flown by so quickly.
Instead I spend my evening watching tv wondering how it is possible I have survived 11 months without them. I am baffled by how quickly time has passed.
I should be getting things together to take my boys to their cousin's birthday party tomorrow.
Instead I worry about how I am going to make it through the day without them.
I should be crying because I am exhausted trying getting two 11 month old boys to sleep through the night.
Instead I am crying tears of grief and loss.
Yes, I should be doing all of those things, but I am not.
I have missed you every second...every minute...every hour...every day...every week...every month...for the last eleven months.