I sincerely thought today was going to be a good day...a 2 hr school delay meant I got to sleep in a little, I was looking forward to starting a new project with my first graders and 2nd graders...I couldn't have been more wrong.
To start, I woke up feeling far from rested, a kind parent shared she experienced a similar loss which made me a little teary, and after all of that I opened a cupboard in my classroom and found a stack of parenting books a fellow teacher gave me but had yet to take home. That was the kick in the gut the led to my downward spiral. I crumpled into tears. Thankfully I was alone in my room because it was not pretty.
Thank goodness for our amazingly kind school nurse who gave me a place to hide when she saw my look of desperation when I could not find the assistant to the principal. I knew I needed to leave but wasn't sure what to do. That combined with my frusteration of not being able to keep it together until I got home was just too much today.
I know there are bad days (usually following a really good day like yesterday) and I just have to feel them. I haven't had one at school so even though I have been prepared for so much, including days like today, I was not prepared for what it would actually feel like.
Now I am home, taking care of myself and letting the tears fall when they need to.