Ready or Not...

Actually...I am ready.

I apologize in advance for the over-sharing that is about to happen...well not really, since I do not want to apologize for whatever I say on my blog. It is more of a warning that there is potential TMI ahead!

That being said...on Saturday I got my period which means I am officially in the cycle leading up to the transfer cycle for my FET. To keep things in check we are doing a medicated FET, and in a sense taking away another layer of chance. There are still plenty of opportunities for things to go wrong, but I am trying to put a positive spin on this. This month is all about the positive thinking.

Positive thinking was hard to come by on Saturday though...the day itself was good. I went to a family friend's bridal shower. They are our "adopted family" or "family of choice" so it is exciting to see my "cousin" so happy. It was a fun shower too...a luau theme, really good cheesy bridal shower games and time with family. Afterwards, when I started to feel icky with the in-coming, previously mentioned, period I realized that the last time I saw most of these people was at my own shower...the baby shower that was followed by the pre-mature birth and death of my sons. It had been eight months, but they are super fun and loving people so those thoughts didn't pop up until much later.

That night was a rough night for one reason only...the worst period arrival I have ever experienced. My July/August cycle always runs long...like 35-40 days long, I realized this trend 2 years ago after years of tracking and the first frustration I felt after I thought I might be pregnant, but definitely wasn't. Unfortunately the end of a long cycle means one evil period. It comes on quick, painful and knocks me down for a day or two.

This was no exception to that rule, only it was worse. I have had bad cramps and never before had I ever had them this bad. After experiencing a swift, intense labor with my boys this was much worse. I had heard of contractions during labor that cause women to vomit...I was close to that when I went into labor, but not quite. The only thing I can compare the pain and discomfort to is a vomit-inducing contraction that lasted continuously for 3 hours. My insides felt like they were being twisted unmercifully. I nearly threw up four times, almost passed out once and was generally miserable for four hours Saturday night. Taking four ibuprofen dulled the pain a little and a heating pad helped slightly but that was horrible. Never ever have I felt that way...and I would definitely not wish it on anyone. At one point I worried I had food poisoning that coincided with my period arriving, but my family had eaten everything I had and they were all fine. Not fun!

The positive spin on all that nastiness is that this cycle has started. In three weeks I head in for bloodwork and start taking my meds. I found out today there is a L.upron shortage so I may have to take an alternate medication. At least the doctor's assistant told me ahead of time so that I would not freak out about it later.

In theory, if everything goes forward as it should (and with my luck that is a big IF) I could be pregnant again by the beginning of October. Wow! It is still hard to believe it is possible again and there are still so many things that can go wrong. But I feel ok...good even...to be making steps towards building my family. In three short weeks the medical side of the process begins.


I have to put out a call for positive thoughts for my friend I told you was pregnant a few posts back...she is at the end of her 1st trimester and at the point where she found out she had miscarried twice before. We are hoping to see a strong beating heart at her ultrasound and good results from the genetic testing she is having done (high Trisomy risk, and other genetic risks). Please keep her family in your thoughts during this stressful time. Thank you!!!