Umm...what?

That is precisely what I said to the nurse today when she called to give me the results of my blood work today.

At this moment I am pregnant. I have to keep saying it to believe it. I was sure I wasn't when I woke up this morning and I was a doubter as they did the blood draw and I certainly was not convinced when I heard the nurse say that I have to go back in on Monday to see if my beta doubles.

Of course, true to form, there was a slight hitch in the news...my prog.esterone levels are on the low side of ok so I have to increase that and see how it goes.

I know all to well that this is just the first step towards a real, live, take home baby. There are so many things that have to happen in the first month alone (2nd beta with doubling, u/s to see fetal pole, u/s to see a heartbeat , etc). I am trying so hard to focus on the next step and not let myself get to far down the line of worry.

I know that my fear and worries will have to be addressed as they pop up. That is inevitable...but I don't want that to cloud this pregnancy. I want to celebrate each second because I have no idea how long it will last or what the result will be.

For right now, in this moment I am pregnant. Wow. I am happy, scared, shocked, nervous and just trying to take it all in.